


I've got the memories, or have they got me?

by serenityandstartdust



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: (Its rated mature because someone does get murdered), F/F, F/M, lmk what you think!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:41:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24067528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenityandstartdust/pseuds/serenityandstartdust
Summary: After Sabrina conjures Diana's ghost in the Christmas Special Zelda remenisces about the woman she once knew.
Relationships: Diana Spellman/Edward Spellman, Diana Spellman/Zelda Spellman, Faustus Blackwood/Zelda Spellman
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So. I just really think Zelda was in love with Diana and I am a sucker for a dramatic backstory. The title is from the Patsy Cline song "She's got you" (highly reccomend)

Her ears were ringing with shock as she stared at the space between the four girls.  
‘Diana?’ she breathed  
Their eyes met, ghost and witch, two women caught in each other’s gaze for a long moment. As ever they were inverse of each other, Zelda in a black dressing gown, Diana in a white wedding dress. Zelda alive, Diana dead.  
The wedding dress fell to the floor.   
Diana disappeared.   
She looked down to the floor, to her daughter.   
“Sabrina” 

\--------------------------------------  
“And now… The Yule log is lit” Zelda said with a smile, blowing the last of the smoke from the match towards Hilda. They had volunteered to stay home with Ambrose that winter with Edward away at the Academy. A steady snow fell on Greendale, icing their house, sealing in the town, but despite the snow a firm knock came on the door.   
“I’ll get it sister” Zelda said, walking to the door.   
She pulled open the door to reveal a young woman, wrapped in a heavy coat, red cheeked and windswept.   
“Are you Zelda Spellman?” she asked  
“I am. And who are you?’   
“My name is Diana Sawyer. I need your help” 

Zelda was occasionally struck by beautiful mortals on the street, on the rare occasions she walked among then, and often by comely witches and warlocks in the churches of darkness, of which there were many. This woman, Diana, was not the most beautiful she’d ever seen, though she had a certain common prettiness, but there was something sure and knowing in her eyes that Zelda found alluring. 

“Come in my dear, what can I help you with?” 

Diana stepped in from the storm, the few snowflakes that snuck in with her melted under Zelda’s gaze.   
“I need to plan a funeral.” 

“What is it Zelds?” Hilda called from the kitchen 

“Come in here my dear” Zelda said, smoothly taking Diana’s coat from her shoulders and hanging by the door. “We have business Hilda” she replied sharply to her sister. “Why don’t you step into the kitchen dear, my sister and I will be able to help you with anything you need, Hilda, this is Diana Sawyer, she needs our help” Zelda said, striding into the kitchen behind Diana

“Oh you poor thing, you must be frozen” Hilda said to Diana, predictably. Zelda gave an internal eye roll at that, standing by the kitchen sideboard. If this Diana was visiting a mortuary it wasn’t as if the cold would be the first thing on her mind. 

“ Thank you” Diana said as she accepted a steaming mug of Hilda’s eggnog and a proffered seat at the kitchen table. “As I told Zelda” Zelda caught Diana’s eyes as she looked at her, though the other woman was facing Hilda, across the table from her. “ I need your help, my uncle died this morning, at home, and he needs to be buried” 

“Oh love I’m so sorry for your loss” Hilda chimed in, hardly before Diana had finished speaking.

Diana responded with a quick thank you, such a perfect echo of her previous one that to Zelda it almost seemed practiced “And I need it to be taken care of as soon as possible, please, even,”Diana’s voice cracked “even though it’s Christmas”

Zelda coughed at the mention of the false god, and in their own house, but kept her silence at the look on Diana’s face.   
“Of course my dear” Hilda replied “whatever you need” she paused, questioning “it’s just- should we expect anyone to help you, any parents or family? you seem awful young to be doing this alone” 

The question, which Zelda knew would’ve sounded horribly crass and intrusive coming from her, was at once sincere and mothering coming from Hilda, somehow inviting confidence and trust through such prying.   
“No” Diana replied, not looking down but keeping her gaze firmly on Hilda, “there’s no one else” 

Silence fell upon the mortuary, broken only by the crackling of the yule log. Diana’s eyes flickered to Zelda’s as they simultaneously took a drink of Hilda’s eggnog. Zelda winced slightly at the whiskey in hers, Hilda was always a little heavy handed during yuletide, but Diana drained her mug on the first sip. 

It took slightly less than a moment for the silence to start to weigh on Zelda “Well there’s no time like the present Diana. The roads should still be passable if you managed to get here and we should collect your uncle as soon as possible” 

“Yes. Of course” Diana replied, setting down her mug “thank you for the eggnog Hilda, I appreciate it” 

“Oh certainly love, anytime, I always make a batch around yul-'' she choked as she caught sight of the saint's medal around Diana’s neck “around this time of year! It’s just the thing in this cold”

Diana smiled politely, but it was clear she’d caught the slip. Even after the eggnog her eyes were sharper than Zelda cared for in a Catholic in their house, particularly around Yuletide, with the symbols of paganism and satanism openly displayed around the house. The yule tree in the parlor for example, covered as it was in popcorn, bones, and pentagrams, would hardly stand such observation.

“Do you want to ride with me Diana? Show me the way to your Uncle’s house?” Zelda asked, hoping to keep the conversation on track 

“Yes” Diana replied, “it’s a bit out of town though, if you don’t mind the drive” 

Hilda accompanied them into the parlor, though of course she didn’t put on a coat to come with and help them. Normally Zelda would have chastised her, but she didn’t mind the idea of spending more time alone with Diana, particularly since it seemed like Hilda was three sheets to the wind already. 

“Tell Ambrose to expect a body will you?” she said to Hilda, shrugging on one of her more practical winter coats, though with her wardrobe there wasn’t a wide range in terms of practicality. 

“Ambrose?” Diana asked, buttoning up her striking red coat

“Our nephew” Zelda said as an explanation, reaching over Diana’s shoulder for the keys to the hearse, which hung on a hook by the coats. The motion took her unexpectedly close to the mortal’s face, close enough to see a sparkling of freckles across her cheeks, even now in the dead of winter. 

“He helps us in the mortuary” she continued more quietly, struck again by Diana’s unwavering eyes, now completely locked on her own. 

Diana’s only response was a small nod as she moved towards the door. Zelda followed, aware of but ignoring Hilda’s eyes on her back. Hilda was infuriatingly adept at reading social cues, despite her apparent inability to follow them, and Zelda knew that she’d noticed the way Diana’s eyes drew on Zelda’s own.   
No matter, she thought, walking with Diana to hearse. It was no business of Hilda’s what she did, and Edward would only be too happy to know that Zelda carried any sort of interest in a mortal. In recent years he’d become entranced with the idea of witch-mortal mingling, despite Zelda’s, and Faustus’s, continuing attempts to dissuade him. 

The snow continued to fall as they drove. Diana spoke only to give direction for the first few moments, and was quiet as they drove through Greendale proper, past the theater and the few shops the depressingly small town held. It was only as they passed the highschool that she spoke, turning to look at Zelda, even though Zelda was for once keeping her eyes on the treacherous road.

“You don’t seem old enough to have a nephew who is a mortician” she said cooly   
Zelda smirked slightly,usually when someone said something like that to her they were about to buy her a drink, but schooled her expression for a measured response “my brother was much older than Hilda and I. and we are…older than we look” to say the least. 

“I see” said Diana, returning her eyes to the snowy road in front of them. “you need to take this left”  
Zelda nodded in response, directing the hearse down the narrow snowy roads. She was, of course, an accomplished driver, but in the snow this vehicle reminded her of nothing more than driving the old model-ts in the twenties and thirties. 

After another, thankfully shorter silence Diana asked suddenly “How old is Ambrose? I don’t remember any Spellmans in school with me” 

Zelda paused for a moment, then turned to meet the eyes of the woman beside her. It was a decidedly electrifying moment, one that sent sparks into her stomach “how old are you Diana?” she asked in place of an answer. 

“I’ll turn twenty in the spring.” Diana said, turning back to the snowy road, breaking the electric connection.   
That was younger than Zelda had thought, given Diana’s steely self possession that belied her soft countenance.   
‘So young to be baring this alone’ Zelda thought, echoing her sister

“Is there no one at all that can help you?” she’d prided herself on her self-possession and independence from a young age, but the thought of being alone, without her family, was terrifying even now, not that she’d admit it to any of them, it would go straight to their heads. 

“There’s no one” Diana said again  
They reached the house in a few more minutes, it was closer to town than Diana had made it seem. Her Uncle was in the armchair of the living room, apparently asleep. 

“Was this how you found him?”   
“Yes, he was watching tv when I went to sleep and he was like this when I left this morning I,” Diana’s voice broke, looking at her dead uncle and wringing her hands “I had some errands to run so I just- I left him, I thought he was still sleeping, but he was still there when I got back and he was so, so cold, I called the doctor and he came but by then it was much too late, he said he’d been gone for hours, that he died in the middle of the night, and I- I didn’t even notice this morning I just-” She broke off suddenly, seeming to only then become aware of the words flooding out of her.

Zelda hesitated, then wrapped her arms around Diana, drawing the other woman in for a short embrace.She could acutely feel the warmth of Diana’s skin, even through two layers of coats, and the soft pulse of a surprised breath on her neck. She released her, and Diana stepped away, looking back to her uncle as if he were watching them. 

“Thank you” Diana said quietly. It sounded less practiced than it had before “I’m sorry I just wasn’t expecting it to hit me this hard” 

“There’s nothing at all to be sorry for,” Zeldla said smoothly, pressing imaginary wrinkles from the front of her dress and wishing for a cigarette instead. “If you’d rather I can take him back to the mortuary myself and we could deal with your car tomorrow, when you’ve had some rest”   
Though she’d found Diana intriguing, her knowing eyes and the growing tense attraction in her own stomach were unnerving Zelda. It was an unusual sensation for her, to be so taken with someone she’d only just met, particularly a mortal, and she wished for some time alone to talk herself out of it. 

“No I couldn’t possibly” Diana responded. Of course not Zelda thought, that’d be too easy “Besides with state of this weather who knows if you’ll even be able to get back out here tomorrow”   
“Really Diana you're hardly in the boondocks” Zelda responded sharply, regretting it as soon as she did so, Diana had enough to deal with without Zelda’s temper on top of it 

“Well I’m not the one who drives a hearse and lives at the end of an unpaved road in the middle of the woods am I?” Diana retorted, her eyes holding firm on Zelda’s, but her mouth was quirking slightly, it seemed to Zelda as if she was almost trying to keep from smiling.   
Zelda felt a small smile cracking across her face, despite her best efforts. “quite right. And I might get lost on the way back anyway, seeing as I live in the middle of the woods” She let the acid slip back into her voice in order to compensate for the smile, but Diana didn’t seem fooled. 

“Exactly” 

The practicalities of maneuvering Diana’s uncle into the hearse without the help of a spell put a damper on their conversation and the heavy silence continued on the drive back to the mortuary. On the ride back the temperature continued to the fall as the snow built up and Diana began to shiver, despite her coat.   
It was possible that the mortal was going into some sort of delayed shock, though she seemed oddly practiced at dealing with this sort of situation. At the house she’d seen a number of photos on the fireplace which featured a younger Diana with a variety of older adults, but no indication of how Diana came to be living with her uncle without a sibling or parent in sight. It had been a winter dusk when Diana knocked on their door, the light caught by the falling snow, but night had fallen as they’d driven and the sharp winter air caught Zelda’s chest when she opened the door. 

“Do you need, do you need help getting him in ?” Diana asked, swallowing a shiver 

“No you go in and warm up, I’ll get Ambrose to help me” Zelda prayed to Satan that she could rely on Hilda to not reveal them as witches in the two minutes it would take her to transport the corpse to the mortuary. She watched Diana make her way up the stairs to the house, then quickly transported the corpse. Ambrose was nowhere to be found of course, probably sampling Hilda’s eggnog, Zelda thought, leaving me to do all of the heavy work she fumed, levitating Diana’s uncle into the autopsy table. She strode upstairs, flinging her coat and gloves on one of the couches as she headed for the kitchen, where she could already hear Ambrose laughing at something Diana had said. Honestly with Edward gone she was the only voice of order in this household, and these days he barely counted. 

“Ahh Auntie Zee” Ambrose crowed as she walked in , raising a mug of eggnog, clearly not his first, to greet her.   
“Nephew” she said, going to the sideboard to draw a cigarette.  
Diana and Hilda looked up from her entrance as well. Diana still had her coat on but was sitting at the kitchen table, having clearly been persuaded by Hilda to have another mug of eggnog before she left. 

“Oh Zelds did you get the poor man in from the cold?” Hilda asked 

“I thought you needed Ambroses’s help” Diana said, looking from   
Ambrose, who had the good sense to at least appear contrite, to Zelda. 

Zelda expelled a breath of smoke, thankful for something to distract her from the weight of Diana’s gaze   
“I managed just fine on myself, no thanks to this lot” Zelda replied coolly, meeting Diana’s gaze.   
Thankfully Hilda burst in with a question about the wake before Diana could say what she’d certainly been thinking, that her Uncle had been much too large for a woman of Zelda’s statue to lift out of the hearse by herself, let alone carry into the mortuary. 

“Thank you all for your hospitality and for all your help” Diana said, rising out her chair “but I really must get going if I want to make it out of these woods while the roads are still passable.” 

“Of course” Zelda said at the same time Hilda said “what, are you mad?”   
Zelda turned a blazing eye on her sister while Hilda plowed on, determinedly ignoring the look on Zelda’s face 

you can’t drive home in this storm love, you’ll freeze to death! Why don’t you just stay in the guest room tonight and we’ll make sure you make it home safe and sound tomorrow morning”   
Zelda’s jaw dropped. A mortal, a catholic, stay in their house, on yuletide, one of the most dangerous magical nights of the year. Hilda was lucky that the cain pit was currently buried under two feet of snow, though Zelda was currently calculating just how much that would really deter her if she needed it. 

“No I couldn’t possibly impose” Diana replied 

“Quite right” Zelda said at the same time that Hilda said “no really we insist” 

“No it’s alright, I drive in snow all the time” Diana said, though she hadn’t made any move towards the door. In fact Zelda thought, looking at her there was something odd about her face, her eyes strangely unfocused as she looked at Hilda. 

“ No Really, I Insist” Hilda said again, and this time Zelda could hear the magic in her sister’s voice 

“Hilda!” she snarled, grabbing her sister’s arm “what in the name of Satan are you doing?” She winced internally as soon as she said it, in her temper she’d immediately forgotten everything else in the room, even Diana.   
But, as soon as Hilda had finished speaking Diana swayed and collapsed. Ambrose jumped up to catch her, sobering up immediately. 

“Hilda!” Zelda repeated, louder this time “what in the name of Satan did you do to her?”

“Just put a little sleeping potion in her drink so she’d sleep through the night, no need to worry yourself sister ” Hilda said,helping Ambrose lower Diana onto her chair.

No need to worry herself. Of course “And why, dearest sister, in the name of all that’s unholy did you feel the need to have a catholic sleep in our house on this, the most dangerous night of the year?” Zelda said with menacing sweetness, advancing on Hilda

“Oh honestly, Zelda” Hilda replied, turning to face her “look at the poor girl, she could hardly stand up” 

“Because you drugged her!” Zelda shot back 

“And it’s not as if she’s a threat to us, she certainly couldn’t drive home in that state, not on yuletide”

“Besides Auntie Zee” Ambrose interjected “it’d hardly do if she crashed her car and we were the last ones to see her, the police might come. Maybe even a priest”   
Zelda narrowed her eyes at the both of them, looking from her sister to her nephew, both sipping their eggnog again, the very picture of innocence. Well. Perhaps Hilda did have an ounce of sense in her head. Maybe.   
“And where do you suggest we put her so that she won’t see anything she oughtn’t? She can hardly sleep in the guest room, and the yule tree is in parlor”   
“Oh just throw up a glamor in the guest room Zelds it’ll be fine” Hilda replied  
Ambrose shrugged at Zelda then gently picked Diana up to carry her up the stairs. Really. The nerve of all of them. She could hardly believe what they were coming to these days. She strode out of the kitchen, throwing a significant scoff towards Hilda as she followed Ambrose up the stairs.   
At least Edward wasn’t here. She didn’t think she could bear her brother right now. He would be able to see the tension in her stomach and discern it’s source more easily than Hilda or Ambrose. And he’d want Diana to stay. 

Zelda rose early the next morning, wrapping herself securely in a warm robe before heading downstairs to check on the yule log. She yawned widely as she bent over to check it, rubbing her eyes in what she knew was a distinctly childlike manner. She couldn’t help it really, she’d been up half the night thinking about Diana, her strange, knowing eyes and cool bearing, the way she seemed to straight through every lie they told. Her breath on Zelda’s neck and the tension that burned through Zelda at her soft voice. And of course how foolish Hilda had been to make her stay the night.

She crossed the foyer to the kitchen in search of her morning cigarette. A quiet yuletide morning alone with espresso and a paper before the rest of them woke up sounded like just the thing. Today’s paper was from Cairo, flowing arabic proclaiming that a freak snowstorm, the first in a century, had hit the city the night before. A smirk spread across her face. Perfect, it was always good to start yuletide with snow, no matter where you were. 

“Zelda?” a quiet voice called from the foyer. Ambrose and Hilda were never that quiet. Her pulse rose, singeing her cheeks despite her icey facade. She rose slowly and walked out of the kitchen. Diana stood alone in the middle of the foyer, rumpled with sleep, a bright flare in their dark house. She wrapped one of her arms around herself, a soft and childish gesture Zelda normally would’ve disdained, but from Diana it seemed hopelessly endearing. 

“Did I sleep here?” Diana asked   
Zelda smirked, but instead it came out as a soft smile

“Well after you collapsed at our kitchen table Hilda thought it’d be best to let you sleep in the guest room. I was all for letting you take your chances driving home but I was out voted”   
“Oh. How strange” Diana said, then, still quietly “do you know where my coat is? My shoes?” 

“Of course” Zelda fetched the red coat from where it hung on the wall, bright against the Spellman’s black and browns. She felt Diana’s eyes on her back as she knelt pick up the other woman’s shoes.   
Diana took the offered shoes then knelt herself to slip them on and tie the laces. Zelda watched her as she did, the way her pale fingers tightened against the laces, where her wrists stuck out from her shirt, wrinkled with sleep, the way her skirt lay against the ground in a near perfect circle. 

“What is it?” Diana asked, catching Zelda’s eye on her as she rose

Answers rose within Zelda, her ingrained sharp response ‘you’ll be lucky if an iron can fix clothes that wrinkled’ warred with the impulse to step close to Diana and tuck the bit of flyaway blonde hair behind her ear, to brush the pillow mark on her cheek. Instead she looked down to Diana’s chest “do you wear the medal of Joan of Arc?”   
Diana looked down, clearly surprised “yes. My mother gave it to me” 

Zelda nodded “the maid of Oreleans. They burned her at the stake as a witch.” Flames flickered behind her eyes, the memories of a thousand warnings about churches, witch hunters, priests. Catholics.

“She was just nineteen” Diana replied, looking down at her hands.The flames flickering in Zelda’s mind vanished and she only saw Diana, alone in their foyer. 

“Here” she reached out and drew Diana’s coat around her shoulders, drawing her close enough that Zelda’s blood sang at the proximity. “She outlived them all you know. Joan. No one remembers those her burned her, they only remember her bravery”   
Diana looked up and their eyes met. Zelda felt electrified, her hands frozen on the lapels of Diana’s red coat. She could hear her pulse thumping her ears, she was close enough that she could count Diana’s eye lashes and see her eyes darken. Diana breathed out slowly and raised a hand to Zelda’s hand on her lapel.   
“Thank you” she breathed, still holding Zelda’s gaze only looking away at the sound of Hilda on the stairs.

Zelda dropped her hand as if burned and Diana lept back, nearly tripping over Vinegar Tom in the process. Zelda could still hear her heart pounding her ears as she turned to glare up the stairs at Hilda  
“Slept in long enough sister?” she called, struggling to keep her acidic voice even.   
“Oh Diana are you leaving already?” Hilda asked, ignoring Zelda’s jab out of habit. 

“Yes! Yes I’m sorry I,I need to get home, I’ll call you about the wake and I’ll” she swallowed, her eyes flicking from Hilda to Zelda for an instant “I’ll come back   
when the snow clears”   
With that she slipped out the door and into the snow before Hilda could respond.   
“Oh” Hilda said, clearly taken aback “well alright then” she looked to where her sister was still frozen by the foyer “you alright there Zelds?” 

Zelda was most certainly not alright, her blood was burning in a most unseemly manner and she could feel it rising her cheeks, a blush Hilda wouldn’t fail to notice.   
A mortal. Of all people. That mortal, a woman, a Catholic, barely more than a child. And yet. She could smell her soft perfume on the last of the winter wind. 

“Yes Hilda I’m fine” she mustered as aresponse, sweeping back to the kitchen 

“You sure love? You’re as red as hellfire”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> summertime saddness

The hare moon had come and gone, the mayday pole danced and beltane fires burnt. Summer lay heavy on Greendale. Pollen laced the air like a drug, the scent of flowers like a dream. Zelda loved it. She drove the hearse down the Greendale backwoods, windows down, her red hair streaming in the breeze. There was nothing like the endless satanic darkness of winter, all the dark deeds that could be done in the snow beneath the black sky, but spring never failed to make her feel young again.   
Today she was driving through a particularly beautiful stretch of land on the edge of the woods, bordered on one side by wildflowers and the ancient trees of Geendale woods on the other. This was one of her favourite spots in the world, far and away the most beautiful that Greendale had to offer.   
As she drove, cigarette in hand, she caught sight of a young woman walking down the side of the road. She drove closer, slowing slightly in case she needed help. When she caught sight of her face, her breath caught. It was Diana.   
The elegant mortal woman had been on her mind since midwinter. They hadn’t spent much time together, Diana’s Uncle’s autopsy had been routine, the wake short and quiet. Diana had grasped her hand once, tight, during the internment at a the local cemetery. But. Every time she’d seen Diana her blood had burned. Satan be praised Edward had been absent whenever Diana had come by the mortuary and Hilda and Ambrose had misattributed the tension between them to Zelda’s usual treatment of mortals.   
Zelda pulled the car to the stop. “Diana?”

Diana looked up, and Zelda’s breath caught. She’d forgotten the sharp clarity of Diana’s eyes and the way she looked as if she could see into her heart. 

“Zelda?” Diana asked, taken aback

“Do you need help? Or are you wandering through these woods by choice?”   
Diana smiled “I think the woods are beautiful this time of year but,” she stepped up to passenger window of Zelda’s car “my car broke down, I was walking into town to call the mechanic”   
“Why don’t you let me take a look at it?” Zelda asked, flicking back her sunglasses to meet Diana’s eyes “I know a thing or two about cars”   
Diana smiled at her, as glowing as the spring day “thank you” 

The car was a short ride away, stopped in on the edge of the woods, hood up in defeat. Zelda pulled over showily, so that the front of the hearse was precisely parallel to the hood of Diana’s car, the tires fishtailing almost imperceptibly on the forest floor. .   
Diana smirked, she’d clearly noticed Zelda trying to show off, but didn’t comment. They climbed out of the hearse in unison.Zelda stepped to the front of Diana’s car, treading carefully in her heels.   
Once they stood together in front of the engine Zelda was confronted with the fact that not only had she not worked on a car in perhaps 20 years, she had no tools besides magic, which Diana would be sure to notice.   
“Could you… mmm” Zelda poked daintily at one of the plugs, then leaned over to inspect the engine, a move that coincidentally pressed her arm against Diana’s. “Oh I think I see the problem” 

“What, the engine belt?” Diana said  
It wasn’t actually, one of the pistons had cracked. She could feel the broken edge with her mind and know how to easily set it right.   
“Oh yes engine belt. I think there’s a tool kit in the back seat of the hearse, would you be so kind as to fetch it for me?” 

“Of course” 

The second Diana left her side Zelda spread her hands wide over the engine, twisting the threads of the spell through her fingers she whispered “repeare et repari, repare et repari, repare et repari” She felt the piston repair itself, the world sliding back into order in her mind.   
“ Zelda I don’t think there’s a tool kit back here” Diana called, walking back around the hearse to Zelda’s side  
“No need” Zelda took the opportunity to favor Diana with a rare full smile “it’s fixed” 

“How in the name of God did you fix a broken engine belt without any tools?” Diana said, incredulous, though she was still looking at Zelda, not the engine.  
“Believe me my dear, he had nothing to do with it” Zelda replied snapping down the support for the hood and closing it. Diana looked at her, expression inscrutable for a long moment, clearly trying to discern what Zelda was hiding. 

“Thank you Zelda” She smiled after and slipped her hand over Zelda’s where they lay on the hood of the car “Can I buy you a cup of coffee as, as a proper thank you?” 

A soft warmth spread through her body, radiating out from where Diana’s hand covered her own. She imagined chance meetings such as these occasionally but had never expected them to come to fruition. It was foolish, she knew, to get attached to a mortal, but there was something about Diana. A smile crept across her face 

“That sounds wonderful” 

Diana’s smile in return was radiant, as bright as the sun.   
They drove to Riverdale, fast, since Zelda led the way, to a little coffee shop outside of the main strip. Zelda got espresso, Diana an english tea.   
Hours later, driving home in the night, Zelda realised that she couldn’t remember the last time she’d passed a day so happily. It helped, of course, that Diana was beautiful and interesting, that she talked about the world with the passionate yearning of someone who’d never been over the bridge of Sweetwater river, that she read the same books that Zelda had years ago. That her eyes seemed to look into Zelda’s heart.   
They’d made plans to meet again, at that ridiculous book shop in Greendale. Zelda could feel Hilda and Edward’s eyes on her as she strode upstairs that night. They were well used to her coming in at all hours but it pricked her imagination that they might be able to tell where she’d been and, more importantly, who she’d been with.   
That didn’t stop her though. She knew how to keep a secret.   
The shop of horrors was strangely wonderful for a second meeting. Zelda managed to talk about Virgina Woolf with only the slightest hints that she’d known her personally, and Diana had left with Orlando. And they’d made plans to meet again, in one of the meadows, and read it together, as Zelda couldn’t bear a novel be read without examining it from every perspective, and she was well prepared to provide that perspective to Diana.   
Unnecessarily as it turned out. On the fourth time she’d reached over Diana’s shoulder to trace a particularly interesting sentence Diana had turned so that their faces were a hair's breadth apart and kissed her.   
Zelda smiled to herself as she drew a brush through her thick hair. That had been more than two months ago now. Since then she’d seen Diana at least once a week, more if she could. They always met in secret of course, by the river, in the grassy meadows, at small shops in Riverdale. In the woods where she could be sure no witches would tread. Hair brushed, she rose and walked down the stairs. They were meeting again tonight and she’d promised Diana she’d bring some of Hilda’s marigold tea. 

“Oh where are you going all gussied up like that Zelds?” Hilda exclaimed as she walked in, she and Edward were at the table drinking tea with biscuits. 

Zelda resisted the urge to smile. It really was a beautiful dress, black and sleeveless and long to the ground, with a pattern of blood red roses. She’d found it at a tiny store in Marseille years ago and it seemed just the thing for their picnic.   
“Oh just out Hildie, the weathers marvelous”   
she rustled through the cupboards until she found the jar of loose leaf tea, then brought the kettle to a boil with a flick of her wrist. Edward whispered something to Hilda behind her and she heard Hilda snicker in response. 

“What?” she snapped, whirling to face them. 

“Oh it’s nothing Zee” Edward said, smiling innocently at her. Beside him Hilda was struggling to keep a straight face “you’ve just been so happy lately that’s all” 

“Are you sure you won’t tell us who you’re going to see? Promise we won’t tell anyone” Hilda chimed in   
Zelda rolled her eyes as far back as she could, annoyed mostly at herself. For all her secret keeping, the happiness Diana brought out in her was hard to hide. 

“Oh come on Zelda” Edward said, laughing “tell us” 

“And if I said Faustus Blackwood” she said scathingly “would you still want to know?”   
That shut him up “I told you shouldn’t see him Zelda.” 

“And as I’ve told you Edward, several times, it’s none of your business what I do or who I do it with”   
The anger she felt rising in herself warred with genuine concern on Edward’s face. Honestly she didn’t know what he was on about with this, they’d both known Faustus since they were children, and at this point he was too predictable to be any fun. 

“Be careful Zee” Edward said finally “there’s a sliver of ice in that man’s heart” 

“Oh do spare me the melodrama Edward, you sound like a child fresh out of the academy” she replied, turning back to the stove to pour the tea in a large thermos. 

“I know Faustus better than you Zelda, don’t forget it” Edward shot back 

“Well then it’s a good thing I’m not going to see him isn’t it” Zelda she said, snatching a pair of mugs from the sideboard 

“We will get to the bottom of this Zelda!” Hilda called after her, precisely like a detective in those horrid british shows she insisted on watching. 

Zelda waved a hand at her as she strode out the door “Don’t wait up!”   
Dusk was falling by the time she reached the edge of the woods where they had arranged to meet. It almost stopped Zelda’s heart when she saw her, waiting in a beautiful white dress, silhouetted against the setting sun. 

“Hello dearest” She said.  
Diana greeted her with a wide smile “Hello Zelda” 

They got in Diana’s car and drove, out of Greendale and away from the city lights. The summer night lay thick and heavy, scattered with a blanket of stars.   
“Here, this looks lovely” Zelda pointed out to a small sidetrack leading to an open field 

Diana pulled the car over, and they spread their picnic out on the grass. Together they lay beneath the stars, sipped their tea and nibbled on the sweet lemon cookies Diana had made. The stars wheeled overhead, the planets and the constellations dancing their fixed dance.   
Zelda loved to sit like this with Diana, away from city lights and everything else. It reminded her of centuries passed, and there was nothing to stop her from kissing Diana’s pink lips, the soft skin on her neck. Diana gasped and pulled Zelda onto her, twisting her hands through Zelda’s thick hair.   
Diana’s pure happiness whenever they kissed set Zelda’s heart alight and her blood burning. She ran her hand down Diana’s chest, tracing the soft rise of her breasts, the curve of her waist. Diana gasped when Zelda bit at her collarbone, and again when Zelda rocked her hips against Diana’s. After a few intense breaths Diana pushed at her shoulders,

“Zelda, wait, just a- just a second”  
Zelda froze and pulled back, the passion she’d felt plummeting to fear at the thought that she might have hurt Diana or pushed her too far. “Are you alright? What is it?” 

“No I’m fine” Diana laughed softly “it’s just, there’s just something I need to tell you” 

Zelda let out a sigh of relief “your sense of timing leaves quite a bit to be desired my dear” she replied, elegantly lifting herself off Diana so that they were lying side by side in the grass.   
The silence stretched between them as they stared up at the stars. Zelda could clearly hear Diana breathing and even the steady pump of her heart in the night. She could picture it under her soft skin, pulsing with life, trapped within the cage of ribs and muscles. She entertained herself with such morbid thoughts long enough for the silence to swell until it was pressing against her throat. 

“Well what is it?” she asked 

A smattering of heartbeats later Diana replied “I’m leaving”

“What, now?” Zelda laughed, trying to hide the panic rising in her chest

“Next week. I’m going to Boston. I got into college and I’m leaving” 

Zelda sat up quickly, her head spinning, she felt as if she was floating about her body. How could she have been so blessedly stupid. Of course Diana was going to leave, that’s what mortals did, they aged and they died and they left.   
How could she, Zelda Spellman, have entrusted her heart to a woman she barely knew, who knew nothing about her and what she truly was. They had been doomed from the start. She should've known better, should’ve seen this coming, but she’d had been blinded by her love and passion. And by hubris. She’d seen this happen to Edward and Hilda on countless occasions, mocked them for giving their hearts away carelessly. How many times had she cautioned them to think, to just once use their heads so that they wouldn’t end up so bereft, sobbing at the kitchen table. She saw now, with sickening clarity, that the same thing was happening to her. 

“I’m leaving” Diana said again, more quietly this time “unless you ask me to stay” 

For a single heart wrenching moment Zelda considered it. They could have a simple life, just two women living in the cottage in the woods, a small garden and a dog, before reality came crashing in. What life could they really have together, a witch and a mortal?  
It wasn’t as if she could have Diana meet her family, her friends, the coven. It would be blasphemy of the highest order, an abomination. She would have to give up everything, everything and everyone she’d ever know, live as a hedge witch, powerless and she knew- knew- that she would rather live without her heart than live without magic, without the dark lord. 

She reached deep inside and pulled her icey facade over herself, smothering her burning heart “Don’t be a fool” she said scathingly. 

“What?” Diana said, also sitting up, drawing away from Zelda. In the darkness Zelda could see tear tracks on Diana’s checks.

“Of course you’re going Diana. You have so much to do, so much to be. This was going to happen one day, be grateful it was sooner rather than later” Her voice cracked half way through the sentence, belaying her sharp tone.

Diana swallowed then whispered “we could still see each other though, I have my car I - I could come back to Greendale sometimes, and when I graduate I-” 

“ That would be a mistake” Zelda cut her off “No I don’t think we should be in contact again, it’s for the best” 

“But Zelda, I- don’t understand I-” Tears dripped from Diana’s face “ I love you” 

Zelda’s heart broke then, she could feel it ripping open in her chest. No one had ever said that to her, not like that, not like they meant it, truly, without reservations or ulterior motives. But she did what needed to be done, just as she always did.   
“You think that because you are young, dearest. It will pass.” 

Diana looked at her as if she had slapped her and that look hurt Zelda as much as anything she herself had said that night. It felt as it always did, as if Diana was looking into her heart, but this time she didn’t like what she saw. 

“You don’t mean that” Diana said quietly, still looking in Zelda’s eyes

She rose quickly, as if Diana’s gaze had burned her “I do. Goodbye Diana”   
She strode as fast as she could away, into the woods. 

As soon as she felt the warm embrace of the forest air on her skin she teleported home, collapsing into a chair in the kitchen. It was there Hilda and Edward found her an hour or so later, tear sodden and drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've never read Orlando or anything by Virginia Woolf, hope I didn't do anything horrible to it. A fair bit of what Zelda says to Diana is drawn from Carol's letter to Therese because I like how it sounds. Zelda's spell translates to repair (imperative) and be repaired


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this chapter first before I had the whole idea fleshed out which is why it's so short

It had been in the depth of another winter, years later, that Diana had slipped into her life again. Luckily Zelda had been away when she’d first returned, waiting at the hospital to take away a body. Hilda had called her to tell her the news, that Edward had finally told her who he was seeing, that she was a mortal. When Hilda said her name the bottom had dropped out of her stomach. She’d left immediately, arriving just as Edward had come back from taking Diana home. The whole drive home she’d been coming up with the dressing down of all dressing downs to give him, something worthy of their mother’s rages, but when she’d seen him, his open, happy smile, the taste for it had drained out of her.  
Nearly every day he was home from the academy Edward brought Diana to the mortuary, her soft presence, her perfume lingered in the house, catching Zelda’s heart when she least expected it. She could feel the tension in her stomach every time Diana walked into a room but usually she could control her temper, laugh at her jokes, take Hilda’s horrible tea and biscuits with her, even play a round of cards.  
Even then she felt like a tea kettle filled too high, her emotions roiling from overwhelming joy to the more familiar all encompassing anger.

“Ace!” Zelda said triumphantly, slapping down the card “play 4” 

“We’ll see” Diana said with a smirk “well there’s a three,and an eight, a ten” she paused, looking up and holding Zelda’s eye “and.. A king!” she exclaimed, slapping down the last card 

“Why you horrid cheat!” Zelda said, laughing as Diana leaned back and sipped her wine “You switched the cards when I wasn’t looking! Really Diana I thought you were better than this” 

“I believe you need to play three cards now Zelda dear” Diana replied, catching her eyes again. Zelda could feel the hot tension in her stomach rising under her gaze. “Besides I seems remember winning at cards quite often in the past” 

Zelda’s fingers shook for just a heartbeat as she drew her cards “yes. Quite” she said, taking a long drag on her cigarette and placing the cards on the table. Impossibly, three sixes gleamed up from the laquered table. Their gazes locked again and Zelda felt the fire rise again, this time burning sharply at her tongue.  
“Well it rather seems as if you’re always the winner these days.” she said sharply, rising from the table and turning away.

“Zelda” Diana said, getting up to follow her “Zelds wait I-” 

“Oh Di you’re already here!”Edward called from the entryway, catching sight of her as he and Hilda walked in. The gust of cold wind that came with them rustled Diana’s hair so that Zelda caught a soft breath of her perfume as she stormed away  
“Oh Zelds we’re having dinner in just a bit” Hilda said “ won’t you come eat with us?”  
“Don’t worry sister” Zelda snapped from the stairs “dinner with a mortal? wouldn’t miss it for the world, you never know how many days she even has left”  
Dinner was tense, Hilda, Edward, and Diana carrying on a lively conversation around Zelda’s chain smoking and sharp comments. She truly loved smoking these days, the ash and smoke burning her lungs while her blood burned within her, Diana sitting just feet away, talking, eating, laughing as Zelda had once made her laugh, yet completely out of touch.  
A call came halfway through dinner for Edward. He was needed at the school, some sort of mishap with the student and Hilda volunteered to come with him. A good thing too, Zelda thought as she slipped into a dressing gown. Hilda had been almost unbearable of late, and the Cain pit had seen quite a bit of use. Brushing out her crimson hair her thoughts turned, as they were want, to Diana, her silky hair in Zelda’s hands, the singular color of her lips,the way her eyes darkened when her blood heated, the pale skin beneath her dress, her- 

“Zelda” Zelda nearly dropped her hairbrush 

“Diana! I thought you'd gone with Edward and Hilda” 

“I told Edward I’d drive myself home, I wanted to talk to you” Zelda tried to keep her gaze on Diana’s face but her eyes were still drawn to the delicate sway of Diana’s skirt as she entered Zelda and Hilda’s room. 

“About what precisely?” Zelda said, struggling to keep her voice steady, raising to face the other woman. She felt her heart rate doubling in Diana’s presence. Despite everything, she was so glad she’d come, so happy to have her close. There was nothing more she wanted to say to her than apologize for earlier, for how she’d acted since Diana had come back, for everything she’d said in the woods years ago. But she knew her duty to Edward and to her family. 

“I just wanted to say..” Diana paused, locking eyes with Zelda. She had been twisting her hands into her skirt but dropped then as she began 

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. I never imagined that things would happen this way and I certainly never wanted to come between you and Edward.”  
At the mention of her brother’s name a block of ice dropped into her stomach, cooling the fire in her blood to the anger she normally wielded like a weapon. She walked slowly towards Diana, keeping eye contact as she stepped so close to her, nearly pinning her against the wall.

“Really, dearest,” she said, slipping a lock of the other woman’s hair behind her ear “you’re too kind. But nothing has come between Edward and I in three hundred years, and I somehow doubt one a single, insignificant, mortal is going to change that”

Zelda felt Diana’s heart rate speed to match her own as Zelda’s words fell. They were so close, as close as they had ever been, breaths mingling together. Diana looked down at her hands, a hair's breadth from the tie on Zelda’s robe.  
“I know Zelda I.” she breathed out in a slow movement, the breath raising goosebumps of Zelda’s skin “I forgive you” she said, looking straight into Zelda’s eyes.  
It was this that had made Zelda fall in love with her in the beginning, the clear way her soft brown eyes saw through everything, every lie and deception, straight into her soul. 

“Diana” Zelda said softly, taken aback 

Diana didn’t reply, just kissed her once on the cheek before leaving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The show is pretty unclear on how old Diana was when she started dating Edward and their whole timeline so I tried to leave this ambigous as well. Also the card game they're playing is ERS, it's a very easy game that gets really heated very quickly becuase you just slap down the cards as quickly as you can. If you play a face/ace card your opponent has to play a number of cards (4 for a king, 3 for a queen etc.) unless they also play a face card inwhich case you have to play cards.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> even more summertime sadness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where someone is murdered in case you want to skip that

It was the height of the summer, the perfect day for a feast. The coven had gathered, as was tradition, in one of the open fields that surrounded the Greendale forest for the midsummer festival. They had begun at dusk, with dancing and singing, and a ritual sacrifice of a bull which Edward had performed perfectly, sharing the blood for all to drink. Zelda felt it in her stomach now, rich and heady, mixed with red wine and spices. It was really a spectacular party, all centered around a huge bonfire where the cow was now roasting.   
She wandered through the party, making the rounds with Edward. Earlier in the evening Diana had joined him instead of Zelda, a fact that prickled at her now.   
This wasn’t the first Church of Night event he’d brought Diana to, that dubious honor was held by a disastrous black sabbath feast a few weeks previous in which one of the older members had thought that Diana would be the feast. It was the largest celebration she’d been to though, with many members from around the country visiting, even a few extended Spellman family members from the Old Country. Diana had not been well received.

“Why do you think he’s doing this? To spite the coven?”   
“To spite the dark lord?”  
“Even he wouldn’t be so brazen”   
“It doesn’t seem that there’s a limit to what Edward would do anymore” said Edgar Anmore, an upstanding member of the church of shadows, said, unaware that Zelda and Edward were standing just behind him  
“Clearly” Replied Lucretia Scratch  
Zelda fumed,smoking her cigarette in silence while Edward continued to placate the Lectors about the end of the Feast of Feasts.   
Neither Lucretia nor Anmore had the sense Satan had given a fly, but to hear them speak about Edward this way was beyond insulting, and it boded worse from the other, stronger members of the coven.   
She placed a hand on Edward’s arm before walking away, sparing a sharp look for Lucretia as she did. Winding through the crowd she found herself in front of the bonfire. She flicked her cigarette into it and drew deeply on the summer air, heavy with the smoke from the fire.   
If she thought it about it hard, she knew that she’d realise that such comments ranckled her so deeply because in her heart of hearts she agreed with them. It was preposterous what Edward was doing, bringing a mortal to their sacred celebrations, parading a Catholic as his mate before the coven. It was ridiculous, made a mockery of the most basic witch tenants.   
And it hurt her because she knew she would never have done the same. She’d loved Diana deeply when they had first met, whatever she’d told the girl it had been more than a passing flirtation, but she knew in her bones she could never do this. She would never dishour the coven this way, could never go against the Dark Lord. Not even for Diana.   
“How’re you doing Zelda?” Edward asked, appearing at her elbow

“Oh well I’m doing wonderfully Edward dear” she turned, layering sarcasm and steel in her voice “how goes your angelic plan to spite the dark lord and lead the churches of night to ruin?”  
“Mhmm” he replied, staring into the fire to avoid her gaze “was that Faustus?”   
She laughed humorlessly “Lucretia and Edgar”  
“Ah of course”   
They stood together in front of the fire for a moment. Through the flames Diana was visible on the other side of the fire, dressed not in white for once, but in a sweetheart crimson dress that fell to her knees.   
“Do you think this will get easier?” he asked, looking at Diana   
Zelda continued to look into the fire   
“Zee?”   
“Maybe if you give it a few hundred years, not that you’ve got the time”   
“Really Zee”  
“Really Edward!” She sighed as he looked down “ Is she worth it? Truly? All of this? Defying tradition? Ceremony? The dark lord himself?” her voice cracked on the last word.

“Yes Zelda” he replied “she’s worth all of it” 

The quickness with which he replied stabbed at her. She couldn’t imagine being so sure, so brave, as to do what he was doing. 

“And do you not think the dark lord will take retribution for this? He hath blessed you edward, blessed our family, and you defy his most sacred order openly, parading her around as if you intend to marry her!” 

“I do” he fired back  
“You what?” she gasped, barely able to keep her voice hushed   
“At Samhain I intend to ask the Dark Lord’s permission marry Diana”   
Well then. Incredulity warred with jealousy and disbelief as she gaped at her brother. She wished desperately for the cigarette she’d thrown away, or at least a glass of wine.  
“Well then.”  
“Yes”   
“That’s that I suppose”  
“It is”   
“And tell me, do you really think our Dark Lord is going to grant such a request?”   
“I do actually Zee”  
“You think that Satan himself will change his law? Just for you,because you’re so special he’ll allow this, this defilement of witch blood ? 

“That’s enough Zelda!” He snapped, the fire flaring and singing her face “I thought you were better than this!” He looked down to the base of the flames “ I thought I’d at least have you on my side” 

“Edward” she sighed. Again. “You know I only want what's best for you, I always have”   
Edward turned to her with a small smile “of course I know that Zee” it was one of the things she loved most about him, he could be as furious as she was in a second, but it never lasted.  
“You can’t announce anything until the dark lord gives his approval, if he gives it”   
“Yes I know”   
“And she’ll need to try to fit a bit more” they were both looking at Diana now, laughing with Hilda and a few of the younger academy members “I mean really Edward, does the woman own a single piece of black clothing?” She faltered at that, as the memory of Diana, young, when Zelda had first known her, in a funereal black dress fluttered against her mind.

She’d expected him to laugh at that but he remained quiet, looking at Diana “do you think she’ll accept, if I ask her? Do you think she’ll follow me down the path of night?” 

She’d cultivated her icey facade so that she wouldn’t be called upon for conversations like this, but on the rare occasions Hilda had come to her for advice she’d known precisely what to say. Not now, of course when she needed it.   
“I don’t know Edward”

He nodded slowly. She hated to see him, her unshakable older brother, so uncertain, but she didn’t know what to say.   
“That is to say I think she cares for you Edward but” she cleared her throat “but I don’t think the beard is particularly helping your case”   
He finally laughed at that and pulled her in for a hug 

“Oh, for satan’s sake Edward!” she said, trying not to laugh as he lifted her off the ground “Do try to be dignified for once”   
“I’ll try to work on that one” he said, releasing her at last “ah speaking of the dignified” Enoch Lestrange had spotted them and was heading their way  
“I think I’ll leave this one to you brother dear” she said, turning from the fire to face the woods.   
What she really wanted now was to smoke her cigarette in silence while Hilda blathered on about something or another while the fire in her veins burned down but Diana would be there and Diana’s presence, always so cool and knowing, was the last thing she needed now.   
Threading her way through the crowd she reached the high feast table and at last found the wine. She poured herself a large cup and leaned against the table, her back to the fire, to survey the crowd.   
If Edward was truly to marry Diana he would need more of them on his side then simply Hilda and herself. For all his considerable magical powers and his position as high priest there were those who would challenge him if given the chance. Cesere Scratch, Henry Fallows, and of course Faustus, still resentful of Edwards' rise above him, with no shortage of his own followers within the church. She finished her wine slowly, still watching the crowd when a pair caught her eye.   
Shirley Jackson and Rebecca Maurier walking arm in arm. She didn’t know Shirley well, only knew that like so many of coven she hoped to catch Edwrad’s eye, but she liked Rebecca, who suffered from no such desire, and besides was tall and beautiful, with long dark hair and deep red eyes with which witches were sometimes blessed. It was her eyes that had first struck her Zelda remembered, at a hare moon celebration years ago. They’d celebrated the hare moon enthusiastically that night, and many nights after, though Zelda hadn’t seen her in some time.   
Perhap this was the cure for her burning heart, not Hilda’s chatter, but beautiful Rebeecca Mauriur. If anyone could erase Diana from her mind it would be Rebecca. She wouldn’t be able to find anyone more different than Diana if she tried. As she stood to join them, she caught their conversation.  
“I just don’t know how she did it” Shirely said   
“I know”  
“I mean really, she’s not even that pretty”  
“Well” Rebecca replied slyly “I wouldn’t say that, but I would’ve expected better from Lord Spellman” they were talking about Diana. Of course, everywhere she turned these days Diana was there   
“ anyone would be better than that mortal tramp”   
“A witch I would understand but that whore couldn’t even have enchanted him” It stabbed her raw heart to hear Diana and Edward spoken about that way. And it certainly wasn’t soothing the anger in her veins. “him and all of the rest of Spellmans”   
“I wonder if someone else did”  
“Enchant the Spellmans? That would be very strong magic”   
“The spellmans aren’t that powerful” Shirley retorted   
“Hmm” it was clear Rebecca wasn’t listening to Shirley “and if something were to happen to her I’m sure the spell would break”  
“I’m sure it would” Shirley said, latching onto the idea immediately and turning her head to look at Diana.   
“So many options really” Rebecca said, her red eyes glittering in the light of the fire “a spell, poison, maybe another feast. And the truth will out”   
Though she was still standing in front of the fire she felt cold. The very thought of Diana dead sent shivers through the marrow of her bones. It did not bear thinking about. In an instant she understood very clearly where she stood. She would support Edward in this, as in all things, protect him from the coven, as she always had, and do the same for Diana. There was no alternative.  
The fire in her stomach blazed, watching Rebecca watch Diana. Casually, still smoking her cigarette, she reached behind her to grasp the knife that Edward had used to slaughter the bull. It was ancient, jagged, with a bone handle and obsidian blade. The obsidian glittered black and red as she slipped it into the waistband of her dress. It wouldn’t be hard to attract Rebecca’s attention, especially not in this dress, and with the knife she wouldn’t be hard to dispose of. It was lucky she mused, rising from the table, that she lived so near a cemetery.   
She walked purposefully through the crowd, cigarette in hand, until she passed just in front of Shirley and Rebecca.  
“Zelda!” The joy in Rebecca’s voice was clear, which only cut Zelda deeper. Tightening her control on her emotions she turned, letting a smile play across her face.  
“Rebecca” she breathed out a long smoky breath “what a surprise”  
Rebecca smirked, slipping her arm from Shirley’s to tuck a stand of her own night dark hair behind her ear “That’s quite a dress”   
Zelda met her smile, trying to forget the last she had worn this dress, to meet Diana in the woods “Thank you Rebecca. How have you been of late?”  
“Better now, having seen you”  
Zelda’s smirk was replaced with a genuine smile. It was really too easy “well I was going to take a cigarette in the woods if you’d care to join me, we have some catching up to do”   
“Quite”  
Without a second glance at Shirley Rebecca stepped forward and took Zelda’s right hand. The bone handle of the knife rested against her left hip.   
Barely as soon as they reached the wood Rebecca began to trace her hand up Zelda’s arm. Zelda looked over her shoulder, she could see the faint shape of Edward and Diana dancing together, and pulled Rebecca deeper into the forest. As soon as the light of bonfire was masked by the trees Zelda dropped her cigarette to the ground, leaving her and Rebecca in darkness, except for the moon.   
The knife in her hand was hidden by the darkness. Zelda stroked Rebecca’s cheek, loosening the lock of hair behind her ear and stepped close to her, chest to chest. Barefoot, as they all were for the bonfire, Zelda pulled Rebecca down to kiss her, running her tongue along the other woman’s lips. Rebecca parted her lips and pulled Zelda against her, one hand entwined in Zelda’s hair, the other on her waist.   
For a moment Zelda almost lost herself, in all her yearning for Diana she had missed this diabolical pleasure, the press of someone else against her. But already the knife was in her hand.   
She moaned as Rebecca’s lips moved from her mouth to her ear, her jawline, to bite her collarbone, exposed in her black dress. Pressed against a tree she gasped as Rebecca moved lower “it’s been a long time you know, Rebecca”   
The other woman gave a low laugh, “it has, hasn’t it?”   
Zelda laced the fiery anger she felt in her heart into her voice “Yes”   
Rebecca pulled back, her red eyes meeting Zelda’s.   
Zelda seized Rebecca by the shoulder, turning and slamming her against the tree. Rebecca gasped in shock, the first syllables of a spell on her lips when Zelda raised the knife and cut her throat.   
Time slowed as the blood sprayed. It fell like rain, thick and hot, stinging her mouth where Rebecca had been, soaking her black dress, her hair, splotching her skin so that it looked like stained porcelain in the moonlight. She held Rebecca upright against the tree as the life struggled out of her.   
It felt like a long time later when it was finally done, though the moon had not moved. Breathing deeply she pulled Rebecca’s corpse to her “Ianuae magicae”   
They hit the ground hard. Without the support of the tree Rebecca’s body fell away from her, slamming to the ground between the gravestones of the Spellman cemetery.   
She breathed in deeply, still dripping with blood and leaned back against one of the grave stones. The knife fell from her hand as she stared into the night.   
It’d been a long time since she had killed anyone besides Hilda and the look on Rebecca’s face, the shock in her beautiful red eyes hit her harder than she’d thought it would. But there was nothing else to be done.   
Sighing, she picked up the knife and set it on the gravestone, wiped the worst of the blood from her face with the back of her bloody hand. Then she went to look for a shovel. 

It was hours later, just as the sun was beginning to rise that she heard Diana, Edward, and Hilda return home, walking up the drive. She was sitting on the wraparound porch, smoking a cigarette. Rebecca had been in the ground before the Pleiades had set, so it wouldn’t be long now.  
“I just don’t know where it could’ve gone to!” Hilda was exclaiming   
“Well where was the last place you saw it?” Diana asked. She was walking arm in arm with Edward, smiling at Hilda, the sort of smile Zelda knew could turn to a laugh in a second.   
“Well I didn’t have it last did I? Edward here was the last one to have the 900 year old knife when he slaughtered that poor bull”   
“ And I left it on the table Hilda, as I’ve said” Edward replied with studied patience “no doubt it will turn up tomorrow or the next day, and if not, one of us can try summoning it”   
“Turn up in the hands of some poor mortal more like” HIlda muttered, but without any menace   
“Maybe it’s with Zelda” Diana said “since she’s missing too” Merely hearing Diana say her name sent a hopeful spasm through Zelda’s heart.   
“Oh I don’t think Zelda’s quite missing love” Hilda replied “I’m fairly certain I saw her heading off into the woods with the lovely Rebecca Maurier”   
“Aahh of course” Edward said “Rebecca’s back from Europe isn’t she”  
“Yes she is” said Hilda “and you know they used to have quite the time together”   
“Well I’m sure she’s doing fine then, and she might even have the knife”  
“Edward really!” Hilda exclaimed, smacking at him with her bag as Edward chuckled.  
Zelda’s heart missed a beat at that but she continued to simply watch as they approached. Diana had fallen silent at Edward’s reply, carefully watching her barefooted step on the gravel.  
“You don’t think they’re here do you?” Hilda asked as the reached the stairs   
“No it likes Ambrose is the only one in” Edward said, craning back his neck to check the windows “they probably went to Rebecca’s”  
At the first step on the stair Zelda stood, grasping the knife in her right hand. The blood had dried on the blade but was still tacky on the handle, sticking to her hand.   
“Oh Zelds there you are!”  
She stepped forward, into the light, reveling for just a moment in the shock she knew her blood sodden appearance would create. She did love an entrance. They deserved it for making her do this, and Edward needed to understand, as did Diana, what doing this would cost.   
“Zelda! What in Satan’s name happened? Are you alright” Hilda gasped immediately, starting forward to help her, but Zelda shook her off, keeping her eyes on Edwards. She was reminded as she did, that they had the exact same eyes, and she knew he would understand when she held his gaze.   
He took a deep breath. Diana’s eyes were not on Zelda’s but the knife in her hand   
“That’s not your blood is it Zelda?” Edward asked quietly   
“No, Edward it is not”   
“Whose is it?”   
“Rebecca’s” Hilda let out another little gasp at that “she threatened Diana so I killed her and buried her in the garden”   
Edward’s mouth settled into a hard line. Diana’s did as well, the expression sitting strangely on her beautiful mouth.  
“Zelda I-” She cut him off, shoving the bloody knife into his hand.   
“ Family comes first Edward. You know that” She brushed past the three of them, her hand brushing against Diana’s dress. She knew without looking that they were all staring at her, that the knife was still limp in Edward’s hand “But this will have a price. Just like everything else”   
“You buried her in the garden?” Hilda called from the porch  
“Don’t worry Hilda, there’s still room for you ”

She didn’t have long to wait once she reached the Cain pit. As soon as Rebecca’s hand burst through the surface Zelda knelt and seized it, pulling her through the soil with all of her strength. As the morning sun strove through the woods around the cemetery Rebecca stood before her, gasping, covered in dirt and blood.   
“Zelda” She panted   
Zeld reached out and patted her face imperiously “Consider this a warning Rebecca, to you and Shirley and all of your friends. Diana is off limits. She's one of us now.”   
“Zelda I- I thought”  
“Clearly” She hadn’t known what Rebecca was going to say, but it didn’t matter any more. Zelda had decided where she stood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had. SO MUCH fun making up witch names for the coven. Remember Shirley Jackson from season 2? and how they made a really big deal about her name being Shirley Jackson? Shirley Jackson is a famous horror writer (haunting of hill house) so I took Daphne Du Maurier, a big gothic writer (the birds) and her character Rebecca to make Rebecca Maurier. The rest of the names are bible/rome/harry potter/hannibal inspired. The Scratchs can be Nick's parents if you want but they can also be his cousins or soemthing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Picture a gatsby party! but in the wintertime! F Scott Fitzgerald's wife was named Zelda and like it probably wasn't our Zelda but who knows.........

It was the best party Zelda had been to in a long time, which was saying something. The last time she’d had this much fun must have been sometime in the ‘20s. They’d know how to throw a party back then she reminisced, drawing on her cigarette. All the hedonism and frantic mortality after the Great War and the pandemic, combined with the diabolical excess had led to a perfect storm as far as parties were concerned.   
This solstice party was close though. A political gathering as much as a social one, it was held at the large mansion belonging to the Lectors. Edward was unfortunatly absent, as he had been invited to a corresponding celebration at the catacombs beneath the Vatican, but they were all here in his stead, Zelda, Hilda, and even Diana.   
She was almost a constant feature at celebrations such as these of late Zelda mused. She knew that Edward had intended to ask the dark lord, and presumably the woman herself, for Diana’s hand in marriage at Samhain, but he had never told her what the dark lord’s answer had been, and she had made a point not to ask. It wouldn’t do to have him think that she approved of what he was doing. She may have sworn to protect him but that was simply her duty as younger sister to a foolish, headstrong, obstinate older brother.   
“Zelda” Faustus hissed from behind the door “Zelda!”  
She smirked “All clear Faustus”   
She was leaning against the wall next to a door from which Faustus anxiously poked his head out of. They’d had a delicious time that evening. Faustus was seeing Constance Fell at the moment, though she rather doubted that Constance was seeing as much of him on his knees as she was. He stepped out of the door and started to walk away but she pulled him to a stop in front of her so that she could straighten his tie, blowing just a bit of cigarette smoke on his face.   
He smirked, he knew of course that she was trying to rile him. “Thank you for that, Zelda”   
“My pleasure Faustus” She smirked back, turning away from him down the hall   
“Always is” he called after her  
The smirk on her face widened as she entered the main ballroom. There were couples dancing everywhere, and many in the corners doing what she and Faustus had been doing. The remainder were clustered around the edges of the room in small, albeit loud, groups.   
She scanned the crowd, looking for Hilda, and Diana, she’d promised Edward she would keep an eye on her. Hilda she spotted easily enough, plopped at a table in the corner with some of the grandparents of the coven. Zelda sighed. At least Hilda would fit in there, though she really wished that sometime her sister would try to have some fun.   
A sharp laugh drew her attention to a circle of people on the other side of the ballroom. They were her age mostly, some a bit younger, gathered in a circle around someone or something. The energy coming from them was odd, fervent yet secretive. It sent a shiver down her spine, her witch’s intuition tingling.   
She strode towards them across the ballroom, couples unconsciously spinning out of her way until she reached the circle. Brushing past a pair of warlocks on the outside of the group she suddenly found herself at the center of the circle. And she found Diana. Inside the group there was a small knot of witches and warlocks in a circle, which Diana was a part of, passing a small bottle with a dropper between them.  
The game seemed to be that the one on the left would drop whatever was in the bottle on the tongue of the person to their right until they withdrew, while as a group they maintained a complex illusion spell, a shimmering web of sound and light in which strange visions flickered. The game being that you did as much as you could before collapsing, at which point someone else would jump in and take your place. She saw, with a small flicker of concern, that several of the younger witches and warlocks had already collapsed in chairs around them.   
It was a common enough drinking game, one she herself had played many times though she didn’t like to think of how Diana had gotten mixed up in it, nor what sort of witch spirits might be in that bottle. She was walking closer, cutting across the center of the circle, when suddenly she smelled it, thick and cloying, a scent from her youth. Opium.   
Anger flared within, quick as a flame. The very nerve of them, poisoning Diana like this. No doubt someone had waited until this party, when Edward would be gone, to try and sabotage them. Unfortunately for them, they hadn’t counted on her. Quick as a whip she caught the wrist of the warlock about to drop the opium onto Diana’s tongue. They all jumped back, though in their current state it was lucky that they didn’t all fall on their asses she thought. All of them except the unlucky warlock whose wrist she held in a vise-like grip.   
“Zelda!” Diana exclaimed, nearly falling overself. She made a movement as if to embrace Zelda but her momentum failed her at the last moment and she clung, giggling slightly, to the arm of the witch next to her.   
Zelda raised an eyebrow to the warlock next to her, and cast a scathing look to the circle around her   
“What exactly is the meaning of this?” she asked sharply, releasing his wrist to pry the bottle from one hand and the dropper from the other. As soon as she released him he fell back, collapsing into the arms of the warlock behind him. The label indicated it was from Dorian’s Grey room. Naturally.   
“It’s just a funny gaame” slurred the woman Diana was clinging to “besides she waanted to play”   
Zelda’s eyebrow shot up higher at that. She eyed the group, seeing if any of them would try to stop her if she took Diana away now. An unwise choice in their current state. “Unfortunately she shall be otherwise occupied from now on” she replied sharply.   
“Come on Zelds” a man across the circle from her jeered “don’t be such a stiff”  
Cesare. Destestible. She stared at him for a long moment, trying to feel her way past any magical defenses he might have up before he continued “Well she can leave if you want but” he flashed his teeth at her, more leer than smile “you have to take her place”   
He’d glanced at Diana as he finished speaking, at the bodice of her dress with naked lust. Zelda’s temper, already burning hot, flared high at the horrid expression on his face.   
“Why of course Cesere” She bared her teeth at him then, before her nerve could fail her, threw back her head and drank the entire bottle.   
It burned on the way down as if she’d swallowed acid. She dropped the bottle to shatter on the floor and seized Diana’s hand, all but dragging across the ballroom to the bedroom she had so recently left with Faustus.   
“Zelda what are we doing” Diana laughed, leaning heavily on her  
“Oh it’s just another little game Diana” Zelda said, shoving the other woman onto the bed. She locked the door behind them. It was a lock Hilda would be able to undo though, should she fail. It had a risky gambit she had played with Caesare. She had only moments to purge the drugs from her, and Diana’s system before the opium stopped her heart.But that didn't bear thinking about now. She cleared her mind as best she could and moved to stand in front of the mirror at the small bureau.   
“Ego convellam et convello, spritos proximum et longum audire me, auxiliare me iam et ad aeternum, purgere me et meum animum ego conveellam et convello…” She chanted under her breath, looking into the mirror. It helped her cast spells like this, spells to change her appearance and her body if she could look into her own eyes while she did it. On the third round through she felt it working, her pupils returning to their normal size, the flush receding from her pale skin. When she was sure her pulse had steadied she turned to face Diana.   
Her every instinct had been screaming at her to heal Diana first, to protect her at all costs, but her brain had won out, knowing that unchecked the opium might well stop her heart before she could finish healing Diana.   
Diana appeared almost fine, laying back on the bed with her face turned up to the small bedside lamp that Faustus had forgotten to turn off.   
“Diana, dearest, can you sit up for me?” Zelda asked in the voice she usually reserved for young children.   
“Zelda!” Diana gasped sitting up suddenly “You’re here!”  
Zelda filed the joy in Diana’s voice away for later even though it was almost certainly a side effect of the drugs.   
She smiled at Diana “Of course I am” taking the opportunity to place her hands on her shoulder and look deep into her eyes to begin the spell.   
“Oh I’ve missed you Zelds” Diana sighed   
“Spiritos proximum et longum invoco te auxilare me iam et ad aeternum convelescare illam…” she continued, trying to focus on her spell and not the warmth of Diana’s shoulders beneath her hands   
“You’re always so far away now, even when you’re right there and you’re so beautiful every day and I’ve seen the way you look at you know, all of the time, you’re so un-un- obvious. And you always look so angry, my god, I didn’t know people could survive those looks you give them but you always, you always look so afraid of me”   
What in Satan’s name Zelda thought. She must have been more affected by the drugs than she’d seemed. Luckily the spell was almost finished, Diana’s pupils were expanding now, no longer the drug addled pinpricks they had been   
“And I hate that because I love you Zelda”   
Zelda dropped her hands as if she’d been burned. Diana reared back as well, the last traces of opium disappearing from her expression.   
“What?” Zelda breathed, her own heart racing   
“I love Edward” Diana said quickly, firmly, so that it sounded true.  
“I know” Zelda said   
“I do” Diana said again, more loudly   
“I know that” Zelda snapped back, still kneeling. The spell casting and the drugs had wracked her body and suddenly she was exhausted.  
“He asked me to marry him” Diana said, staring at the wall “even though you are witches and I am mortal. And I said yes”   
Zelda winced, unable to hide the hurt she was feeling “I figured as much” she whispered   
“Do you know why I came here tonight Zelda?” Diana asked, suddenly fierce, looking right at Zelda, “why I played that mad drinking game with them?” Zelda stood up so that she wouldn’t have to look into her eyes, but Diana stood up too, so that they were standing toe to toe.   
“I did it because I was afraid of them and everyone keeps telling me I need to stop being so afraid and be more like a witch and I knew” she drew a shuddering breath “ I knew that’s what a witch would do, what you would do. You wouldn’t be afraid. You always do what you want, take what you want.”   
Their chests were almost touching and Zelda could see that Diana was breathing heavily, though her voice stayed steady. Her own heart was racing, she felt more than she ever had under the drugs, desire for Diana burning in veins  
“You know, that’s what everyone keeps saying to me, that witches take what they want. And right now I, I want you Zelda”   
Zelda felt as if her heart might burst, it was thudding so inside her chest. She looked at Diana, into the eyes staring into her soul. Her pupils were so wide Zelda felt she could drown in them.   
“Diana” She whispered. It was all she could think to say. As soon as the sound left her lips Diana pulled her close and kissed her.   
Zelda’s instincts took over and she pulled Diana to her, one hand on her back and one tangled into her hair. Diana gasped slightly and opened her mouth, tracing Zelda’s lips with her tongue before nipping and sucking at her bottom lip.   
The sharp bite at her lip made Zelda gasp, any thoughts blown out of her mind by the fact that this is what she had wanted for so long and it was Diana pressed against her, Diana’s hips against her own, Diana’s mouth on her lips.   
The hands in her hair loosened suddenly and reappeared gripping her shoulders. Diana’s hands on her shoulders tightened and Zelda felt herself pushed back onto the bed behind them. Her breath puffed out from the impact but she didn’t have time to recover before Diana joined her on the bed, her flared skirt allowing her to straddle Zelda's hips.   
“Wait, Diana,” Zelda said, breaking the frantic kisses. Diana drew back, meeting her eyes. Zelda could every detail of her face but was held by her eyes, pupils blown so wide with passion that they were almost black. “Are you certain you want this ?”   
Diana’s response was immediate, as swift and sure as when she had said that she loved Edward “yes”   
Zelda smiled broadly as their lips met again, every fear, thought, and hesitation washed away. 

She had a single moment of peace, a single heartbeat after they finished when Diana’s head was resting on her chest and she felt content. It didn’t last of course. All it took was Diana shifting slightly against her and the weight of her life settled back down her shoulders.  
Now that the bliss had worn off, the pressure of what she’d done, what she would have to do to keep this secret, on top of all of the others, was pressing on her chest. She cleared her throat slightly and sat up, swinging her legs onto the floor. Facing away from Diana.   
“Zelda” Diana said, voice hoarse   
“Yes?” Zelda replied, imperiously as she could. She’d found long ago that over-compensation was the best way to keep her voice from shaking.   
“I just-” Diana trailed off.   
Zelda took the opportunity to stand up and pull her shirt back on, then turned to face Diana. For once Diana wasn’t looking at her, but straight into the light of the lamp next to her.   
“Edward can’t ever-” Diana finally began. Of course   
“I know” Zelda replied, voice cold. She’d expected this, the shame, the regret, but it hurt all the same.   
“I don’t regret it” Diana said quietly, still looking into the light “but he can never know”   
Astounding, Zelda thought, doing her best to look for her skirt, and not just stare at Diana. Whatever she thought Diana would say, whatever she assumed would happen, Diana always surprised her.   
“And he never will” Zelda replied, zipping up her skirt.   
“Thank you,” Diana said, rising from the bed as well. The last Zelda saw of her, a stolen glance over her shoulder before she stepped out the door, was the beautiful pale curve of Diana’s shoulder disappearing as she zipped up her black dress.   
The rest of the evening passed as these things did. The splendor of the party was dulled after Diana. They left as early as they could without making a scene. She’d told Hilda the pertinent parts of what happened to Diana and herself during the opium game and Hilda had insisted, as Zelda had known she would, on the three of them going home as quickly as possible so that she could fuss over Zelda and Diand and, of course, brew a pot of her healing tea.   
Zelda realised later, by the speed at which she was falling into a fast and untroubled sleep, that Hilda must have put foxglove in their tea, if not something stronger.   
That was the reason, she reasoned later, that she wasn’t able to wake when her dream turned sour. First she had simply been sitting at the kitchen table with Ambrose and Edward, the three of them working on a puzzle of Vinegar Tom for some strange reason. But then the walls of the kitchen had fallen away.  
The dream-time had slowed, stretching around her and suddenly she felt herself falling out of her chair, back and back and back, until she was plummeting through the air, flames surrounding her.   
She tried desperately to wake herself, to cry out and wake Hilda to help her, but nothing happened. Edward and Ambrose had been falling beside her but now they morphed together into a single shape. It rose above her, menacing. Goat-headed. It spoke to her, in a voice she knew in her bones. The Dark Lord.   
“Zelda Spellman” it thundered  
She tried to respond but her voice was stuck in her throat.  
“I have given Edward and Diana my blessing, Zelda Spellman. It is my wish and will that they marry, and bear a child. You will not interfere with my plans again”   
The flames rose then swallowing her within them. She cried out for Hilda, for Ambrose or Edward to come and save her, but they never did. It was only when she felt her heart smoldering that she finally woke.   
It was in the morning light, Hilda snoring softly in the bed next to hers, that Zelda made her choice.   
She’d dwelled on this for too long. It was unbecoming for a witch of her age and caliber to be this heart broken for so long. She should have done this so many different times, as soon as she’d met Diana, when Diana had left Greendale, when she’d returned with Edward.   
Well, she thought, staring at the two red candles on her desk, better late than never. Slowly she incised her name on one candle, and Diana’s on the other. Then she lit the single wick. For an instant she thought she’d felt something wet on her cheek, but when she went to wipe her face it was gone. 

\-----------------------------------  
Years and years had passed from that moment yet Zelda could still feel the piece of Diana that had been incised from her heart. She raised her cup and downed the last of the bourbon. As ever, Hilda was wrong. It wasn’t that Zelda had never let Diana into her heart, just that she’d been forced to cut her out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The candle thing is the same thing Sabrina uses in Season 3, opium WILL kill you, I was kind of inspired by a scene in the show Dickinson about Emily Dickinson where a bunch of 1800s teenagers do opium at a party.


End file.
